I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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