But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
