Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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