"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
