You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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