i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize