I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
And then my night got REAL pukey
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
