you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
time to smoke my breakfast
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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