Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She announced her abortion via fbk
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
