That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
