I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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