I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize