in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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