Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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