I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
