well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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