do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
