Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
