Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He better not be in your backpack
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
