my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
