Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
