How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
