then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
