I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
