I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
