I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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