So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
