walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
