He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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