YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
