i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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