I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just forgot I was standing up.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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