Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
