Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize