Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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