i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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