69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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