mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
