I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
