when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
