Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
