I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
