dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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