You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
