God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
