Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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