...so i touched it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
