So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
