Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
