I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
