So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
