i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
