The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
