You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
