hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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