Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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