if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
