we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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