i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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