I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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