he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
