i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
