that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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