I need help removing her.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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